Friday, June 02, 2006

Grafting research

British blogs are boring. And this one is no exception.

Today, from the joy of being able to type again (more on that later) but being too tired to actually think, I did a field audit. Sometimes the BNP and others say 'Britain is full'. Well, I'd like to challenge that. From my viewpoint on the train, there are times when there are no houses at all. You frequently go past vast stretches, filled with nothing but one rabbit, or a pheasant. Britain, I can assure you, is not full. So that was my hypothesis and here are my results. I think this is an audit, but it might be something else. A tedium, perhaps.

The White Llama field audit I
(yes, I might do this again, it was such fun)

The count was carried out this morning, June 2, a Friday. I travelled southwards from Stoke-on-Trent and looked Eastwards (right) from a fabulous tilting Virgin Pendolino.

I tried to count each field. A ‘-‘ means the field was empty. Each dash represents often a big field, so bear with my joy upon seeing a sheep after many, many empty fields. I'm not a numbers person, so my estimates are a little like the tribes whose words for numbers are 'one, two, several'. I recorded everything I noticed, but my perspectives are quite narrow. I didn't record every tree or house, that would have been pointless! Places are in brackets. I drifted off somewhere after Rugby.

(Britannia Stadium), one crow, - - - - - - - more than 50 sheep! More that 30 sheep, - (Stone)
.- - houses, houses, - one cow, 7 cows, - 1 walker, - 10 cows, trees, several sheep, - - 100s of sheep, forest, - 12 cows, - - - - - 1 pigeon, - - - - - 9 sheep and 1 crow, - - 1 ornamental cow, 3 horses, 4 horses, 1 horse, some shetland ponies, 1 horse, a village, cliffs, - - 1 blackbird, some bright roses, - houses, (Colwich), - sheep and cows, - - many cows, 5 sheep, lake, - - - - - settlement, - - - a cluster of sheep, full of sheep and geese, houses, - - - - - diggers, - cluster of cows, 5 horses, 100 sheep, - lakes, - - - - - - - - 12 cows, - 2 horses, - - - - - - - - many cows, - sewage farm, diggers, houses, man with dog, rugby goalposts, more houses, curious junction of trains, - - 3 crows, - - geese (Canadian), lake, cows, lake, - lots of cows, - - - - proper growing fields, - - - - TNT big depot, sign 102 miles to London, town... - 2 crows, clustre o traffic cones, 5 horses, strange processing plant, - bird of prey! - 5 horses, - - farm, - - rugby post, (Nuneaton), allotments, still Nuneaton... - - - 2 horses, 3 horses - sprawling suburbs, - - - - a balloon?, - 4 horses, - - - - - - 1 crow, - - - many sheep, a few horses, - - - - 7 sheep, - - - - many black birds, lots of cows, sheep, more cows, - 2 pigeons, - - houses, a row of cows, water place (Severn Trent), RUGBY! Rail stuff, - - the first church noticed, forest of aerials and spying equipment, horses, cows (many), several cows, BIG cows, - - - - - M1, - at this point I became concerned about whether this was fruitful exercise, marina, - - and sleep.

Next week, if you’re very lucky, you might get the post Rugby stretch.

11 comments:

riaz said...

what about the other side? :)

Tom said...

The post I've been waiting for!

I have some truly exciting trivia about various things you can see between Stoke and London. For example, what and where is Mount Judd, and why is it environmentally significant?

What? Oh. I'll get my coat....

Arnold said...

Next time include all the insects and invertebrates.
That should keep you awake. Inclusiveness is very important. Britain is chock a block really.

Harry said...

I always stretch at the end of a Rugby match!

Clare White said...

Wow, now I know what gets you readers commenting! Come on Tom, tell us all about Mount judd, there's no depths which we can't plumb here...

arnold said...

And tell us about why you were unable to type. That must have been terrifying.

tom said...

Erm, *unsure* how deep a hole can I dig ? ....well, Mount Judd, also known as the "Nuneaton Nipple," is composed entirely of landfill, and, erm, well, yes, oddly enough it was home to a pioneering leccy-from-biomass experiment once upon a time, and...well, I can see you're all thrilled. Suffice to say that only the select few who have spent lots of time in Nuneaton know this and you are really privileged, 'cos even Google appears to know naaaathing :-b

Claire said...

And what colour were all these cows?

Anonymous said...

Oh, and a "curious junction of trains" means my confidence in Notwork Rail just dropped another notch...!

Clare White said...

Oh no, it's a safe junction, there's bridges involved. Youre not quite sure when both trains are going at it full tilt though (what did they use that expression for before the tilting trains?). You notice it because the timetables mean the trains coincide exactly when all is on time.

Have the upmost faith in Network Rail, my dear Anon!

Anonymous said...

It might come from jousting. Are there some windmills along the route? Imagine you are charging along on horseback with a lance aimed at the most annoying person in your life. Who would it be (apart from President Bush)? I won't tell anybody!